The Day I Wish I Could Take Back


Gosh, that title sounds so dooming but in my world I have met my doom. My world shattered a little this past week. Dramatic is something you could describe my behavior as. My hair is currently a disaster. I’ve had plenty of hair disasters in my life but none like this. Why was this one the worst? Because I have naturally curly, kinky, coil-y hair and I went to get it dyed… Yes, I went to get it lightened to just a shade lighter than what I had and my stylist lifted it to blonde. Yeah that’s right, blonde and get this — she didn’t let me see my hair until it came time to straighten it which meant my appointment was almost over. 

It was like any other day, a day I spent asking people if I should go through with my hair appointment. That should have been the first sign, doubt. I should have known if I had to ask my coworker and best friend that it wasn’t a good idea. You know I had told myself that I was never going to go light again and I don’t know why I didn’t follow that rule. When my stylist was an hour late to do my hair, that should have been another sign. Obviously, it wasn’t her fault that another customer held up her time but I had to wait an hour to get my hair done and by the time it was my turn, I was over the day. Working all day and going to get your hair done after is a bad combo when it takes forever.


Blonde hair that I did not like AT ALL


I feel like I sound so vain but after transitioning for so long and finally loving my curls, I dived back into a process. What’s wrong with my hair? Well the elasticity of my curls is looser and one side is completely straight which worries me. My hair went from normal porosity to high porosity. The right side of my hair in the front is fragile and stops curling where the bleached was at. The left side of my hair is still popping, just a few ends that are straight. Trust and believe that I’ve done my research — I know I could cut the damaged pieces out but when I tell you that’s a good six inches of hair and I would literally have a bang, I can’t do that.


This is my new hair journey, a journey of learning how to take care of my hair and give it so much more love. Youtube video after video, I’ve looked into what people have done to keep their curls flourishing especially those that bleach their hair. Lots and lots of TLC will be given to my hair in the next few months. I’m thankful I know how to tame it enough to wear it down and that it’s warm enough to avoid heat styling. This is going to be a process I know and it’s not as hard as I want to believe it will be. I can do this and so can anyone else that has dealt with this.


Curly Hair Do’s & Don’ts 

(all hair in general, let’s be real)


DO make sure that you completely trust your stylist

I won’t lie, I trust my hair stylist. She has curly hair like myself which lets me know that she knows how to handle my hair. I think my one thought process would have been this is a two step process, don’t let her do it all in ONE setting which she did. I had naturally dark hair and I trusted her to keep the integrity of my hair together. For the most part, she did. There’s a handful of strands that won’t curl at the moment. If I can take anything from this, it’s that I should have trusted my gut and asked her about other clients that she had lifted color for. The one question I did ask, “Will my curls be okay?”


DON’T do something you aren’t 100% feeling

Like I mentioned, I asked everyone’s opinion on what I should do because I wasn’t 100% feeling like dying my hair. That should have been the first clue to not do it. I dived in though and I learned my lesson. Sometime your gut feeling is right about these things. Obviously this does not fall along side assumptions and thinking up scenarios in your head, oh no. If you aren’t 100% sure about getting your hair colored, don’t do it. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that you’re going to love the color when it comes out and that it’ll be a good change. You need to love the new color you’re going to take on.

DO your research

That’s another fail on my part. I didn’t look into the process and what was going to happen. I had just assumed because she highlighted my hair lighter last year that it was going to be simple this year. No. I forgot to think about the fact that I had my hair dyed dark brown at the end of last summer and even though it faded, it would still be a process to remove. Yes, your hair stylist knows what they are doing (or they should know) but take the extra step to understand what is going to happen to your hair. They are not going to know everything right there on the spot and they can’t plan for everything. Research it all before agreeing to it. 


DON’T over process or add too much heat  

This is a transition thing for us naturals but in general, don’t over process or add too much heat to your hair. Why? Because you’re damaging the hair shaft. You are literally stripping it of it’s protein — that’s the only reason why I know what’s wrong with my hair. You changed the texture but applying color over and over again or the bleach really lifted everything from the color to the shaft. I learned a lesson in heat a long time ago and once I cut down from my every day straightening to once a week, my hair literally flourished. Now I don’t straighten my hair every week, I want to point that out. If I am heat styling, it’s done once and then wrapped for the following week with oils and creams added to it. There’s actually so many protective styles for us naturals that I didn’t know about that I’m actually curious to try now.


DO invest in product

You have to invest in what you care about. I care about my hair and I will dish out the money for a product that will help nurture and show love to my hair. A good product will go a long way and your hair will love you for it. It’s been two days since I’ve added my natural hair color back onto my bleached hair and it’s slowly loving the the care it’s getting. My curls are slowly taking it all in and loving all the extra love I’m giving them. Your hair will love you in the end, trust me. On my end, I’m speaking from my experience but once you find that golden product, you really start feeling like yourself again. 


DON’T quit on the transition

Do not give up on your hair. If you want to cut the damaged pieces off, go for it. If you want to let it grow out, go for it. Just don’t give up and think it’s a lost cause. You have the power to decide what your hair is going to look like. You can do protective styles like a sew-in or a wig, you have so many options to try out. The transition is a period of growing for your hair but also yourself. You are learning about what works and doesn’t work for your hair. You learn how to accept what you can’t change about your hair and you appreciate it more as you began to understand it. 



My curls before it all. They will go back to this, I’m determined.

Next time you have doubts about something important like your hair, just take that step back and sit down. I wish I had but I’m learning more about my natural hair now that I’ve taken this turn for the worse. It will get better in the end. There’s so many options for me to flourish
— havana twists, marley twists, box braids, etc. Jade Kendle‘s protective styles and HalfieTruths’ styles have really been a wake-up call that I can do this. I can do so much in this situation and I’m learning. I’m going to bring my hair back to life. Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do in this situation? Any hair product suggestions? I’m currently using Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.