I will be the first to admit that it’s not easy making friends as an adult, but mom friends have been my forte. I’m not sure what it is — probably the fact that my boyfriend and his friends all happened to have babies around the same time. And, I’ve been lucky enough to befriend the women whose children my son plays with.
As we grow, it’s harder to keep up with friends. Not that I don’t try. But, when everyone has different schedules, time zones, commitments, and priorities, it can be a challenge to keep up. Add children to the equation and it’s a whole different ballpark. You have to plan for everything when it involves your children — unexpected cancellations being number one.
It can be hard to navigate friendships when everyone’s lives are at different points. Many of my friends don’t have children — they’re moving to different states, traveling whenever they want, and can easily make plans without having to plan it out. It’s a different world than my own world. One that they might not always understand and one that I didn’t always understand (hi Julia, talking about you being a mama bear for what feels like forever without me understanding all your sacrifices. Also, Julia is like mom goals at being a mom and living her life).
As moms, we put our all into it because that’s what we’re supposed to do, right? It’s not a bad thing. But, I know many dads that have lives and do things outside of parenting. And, they (men, in general) make friends so easily. But, let me not go on and on about that when I want to talk about mom friends.
Mom friends have been the saving grace. The people that I’ve met in the last two years or known forever… like my best friend, Julia. These friendships are golden because they understand it all. And, they don’t hold it against you if you can’t come through on plans because they’ve been there. If you’re a mom, make sure you have a circle of mom friends. They get where you’re coming from and they won’t let you feel like you’re lonely in this mom world.
Let’s talk about making those mom friends because that’s what is important.
Honestly, Facebook Groups helped me out a lot. From online friends that were going through the same thing in Mom subgroups based on Podcasts groups to my city mom groups. If you’re looking for friends that are in your area, start searching for mom groups in that city. That is the first that I did to start getting some answers on the best places to go and birthday party suggestions a year ago. It can seem weird, at first. But, it’s all worth it when you meet people that you vibe with and can be on the same level with. Facebook Groups are definitely the perfect place to find subgroups in your area like in Columbus, we have the main group and then subgroups of the suburban areas. It’s very helpful to pinpoint the location and meet people within walking or 1-5 mile driving distance.
Another online thing. I’m a Bumble BFF fan and love that they have the options to solicit that you have children and are looking for playdates. It makes it easier to connect with people that have the same intentions as you. I have met a few moms on Bumble and it’s been nice to just meet ladies there are in my age range. That’s one thing that I love about Bumble BFF — you can set your age range. Not that I’m ageist or anything of that sort, but it’s nice to meet people around my age that might understand things more compared to someone a few years younger than me or older than me.
Honestly, the kid classes like Gymboree are more for Cannon’s sake than mine. I signed him up with the idea of giving him something to run his energy out and to socialize. Making friends was just the icing on the cake as that applied to me. We loved our Gymboree classes and going to Play Cafes around the city. Due to COVID, we haven’t been doing it much, but we’ll get back to it. Nonetheless, these classes and activities are perfect for your child to make friends which leads to you making friends with those moms. As my tot gets older, I definitely want to try more things with him. Maybe art classes and obviously, peewee sports which should lead to more mom friends.
Lucky for me, my boyfriend’s friends were expecting kids around the same time as us. This has led to tons of playdates and getting together to hang out and chill. We plan out playdates and trips to get the kids together. That leads to us getting together and having game nights. It’s amazing, honestly. I will say that I’m very grateful for the relationships that I’ve made through those relationships because they just get it. It’s a small group of us, but we understand the ups and downs of toddlers. Plus, Cannon will always have friends no matter the distance. Playdates are definitely a great way to form a friendship with people. Whether you plan them with a coworker, classmate, or friend of a friend — they’re nice.
With Cannon turning two in the next few weeks, I’m very grateful for this journey.
And, for meeting people that get my mindset — new and old friends. I’m blessed with all my mom friends. For the most part, they get cancellations and moving plans. Obviously, there are friends out there that get it without kids. But, I’ve had my share of friendships that treat my motherhood and having a child as an anchor or something that holds me back.
And, it’s none of that. It’s the best thing ever and for the people that want children, I can’t wait for them to understand the feeling. For now, I’m grateful to all the mom friends that I’ve made and I can’t wait to make more as Cannon grows.
How are you making mom friends? Do you have mom friends?