Can we all agree that a happy mom and happy baby are best? This all stems down to the debates that we have on mom’s choices especially when it comes to how mom is going to feed her baby. There are so many debates about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. I’ve seen my share from mommy groups to brands and their communities. It’s been a long-standing argument that breastfeeding is the way to go. But, we leave out parents that can’t breastfeed for their own reasons. It’s literally an argument that is all over the place.
And, that argument breaks off into so many topics. We need to accept mom’s decision to do what she wants to do for her baby. Normalize breastfeeding, so many of us don’t feel awkward when we’re out to eat. And, accept that some people use formula because they can. Some moms supplement and exclusively pump because they find that works best for them. Let mom be happy with her choices.
When I started getting questions about what I was going to do, I had no idea. I didn’t know what would work out for me. As a first-time mom, many of us are learning as we go. For me, I was going to do what is best for my baby, so I contemplated it all. As a working mom, I had to figure out what would be best for when I go back to work and how I could achieve that.
My baby is happy and growing like a weed. I don’t take most people’s parenting advice because most of the time, it’s like a scare tactic. Why are you trying to be a downer? That is something I think about all the time when it comes to the advice I get and the fact that a lot of it is negative.
At the end of the day, my decision affects my son, myself, and all that will take care of my child.
And, that goes for you. Don’t you ever feel bad for doing what you know is best for your sanity and your child. Do not force anything that makes you unhappy.
Breastfeeding
This was the best idea for me, and I went for it. Breastfeeding had many positives like being able to share my antibodies with my baby especially during this cold and flu season. To be honest, I’ve been really on it when it comes to germs and my baby, so breastfeeding eased my worries a bit. Also, I’m saving when it comes to formula liked the benefits for me, as well; lowers risk of breast cancer and helps shed the weight after pregnancy. It’s a lot of work, but I have a chunky baby, and his rolls are evident in his thighs.
Obviously, there are things like having to feed on demand as you don’t know how much your baby is taking in. And, you can have latch issues, allergy issue, or low supply. There are many reasons some moms aren’t breastfeeding, and they shouldn’t be shamed for that.
For me, Cannon had a tongue-tie that was corrected on day two of his life but before that breastfeeding was hard because he couldn’t latch. This meant my baby was getting nothing from me for 24 hours and it killed me. So I almost did not breastfeed but we were able to correct this issue, and I didn’t feel like a failure when the thought of formula was brought up. My only concern was Cannon getting fed.
I like breastfeeding, and I would not have said that two months ago — I made it to thirteen weeks and it has gotten easier. There are moments when I’m still uneasy about pumping in public but I have to feed my baby and if anyone has an issue with that, don’t look. I’m lucky enough to pump while I’m at work and I can’t complain because my place of work has a mother’s room and really supportive. But I know what is easy for me isn’t easy for other people.
The one thing that pops up to me is normalizing breastfeeding. Don’t shame a mother for breastfeeding and doing what is natural for her child.
Formula feeding
I’m not against formula feeding. Why would I be? There’s such an argument when it comes to BF vs. FF, but I truly see both sides. A baby is getting fed, and that is all that matters. There are great products out there, and I guess I don’t understand why people shame those who choose to go this route. Formula has come a long way especially when the brands offer HMOs and benefits that will help a baby grow.
A new mom is already stressed about her baby — there is no reason to bash her for feeding her child. Formula is expensive which is why I haven’t gone that route. But, I know it’s something that is helping another mom out.
The amount of women I see that formula shame makes me upset. Why are we not supporting other women especially women that are trying to make sure their children are fed? I think it’s so silly to talk down on someone when it comes to breastfeeding versus formula feeding – you don’t know what the other mom has gone through.
Many women have their reasons to formula feed from having latch issues, NICU hospital stays, low supply, and so much more. Instead of judging that mom for being different than you, why not start a discussion? Better yet, why not support her for taking care of her child to the best of her ability? Let momma do what she has to do. At the end of the day, you’re going home to your baby, and she’s going home to her baby.
If she wants to give her baby Similac, Enfamil, Gerber, Honest, etc. let her do it.
Supplementing
I can’t knock it. In fact, I’m considering it once we hit the six-month mark. Supplementing is utilizing breastfeeding and formula. The best of both worlds for some moms. To me, this is a great idea for families that want to involve dad right away or for families that have a stash of formula in case of an emergency. There’s nothing wrong with this route as this might be my future. I think supplementing is fantastic for moms that want a break or want to have a breastfeeding/formula feeding schedule. There are many reasons that some women have gone this route, ask them.
Supplementing can be so helpful for moms that need to make sure their kids are getting an extra bit of nutrition. I’ve seen stories about moms with premies that add a little formula into their breast milk. And, some moms supplement during the day and breastfeed at night. Along with that routine, some moms feed their babies breast milk during the day and make sure they get a bottle of formula at night for dad to bond with the baby.
Exclusive Pumpers
Another mom that is doing her thing to make sure that her child is fed. I find women that pump exclusively amazing because it takes a lot to get on a schedule and pump throughout the day. And, I say this as someone who has to find time at work to pump and work around meetings to get in before my chest explodes. These women, like the women above, are dedicating their time to their child’s wellbeing. I would never question a mom’s intentions especially when she’s doing what she can for her child.
Like I previously mentioned, these ladies have their reasons for why they choose to pump and that’s their business. And, your baby is being fed if you are pumping so I wouldn’t ever let anyone’s opinion get in my head. You don’t have to respond or give anyone that time of the day that wants to comment on your life with no background information.
Accept mom’s decision, whether you agree or don’t agree
There are so many reasons why people are doing what they’re doing and to be honest, and it’s no one’s business. Don’t go around shaming someone because you don’t believe in what other people are doing. It’s not your place. It’s not my place.
A fed baby is a happy baby. Ultimately, being fed is best. It doesn’t matter what route you choose as long as you and your baby are happy.
No mother should be shamed for her decision. No mother should feel bad about her decision. All that matters is that baby is getting fed and taken care of.
At the end of the day, a happy mom will equal a happy baby. That is something that everyone should consider before being a shamer. Think about why that person has gone the direction that they are in and leave it at that.
It’s not anyone’s business on how you conduct your feedings. Don’t feel like you have to explain to anyone. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business about where my boobs or bottles are. So yes, I will be breastfeeding in public because it’s normal. You do you, and I’ll do me while supporting you and your decisions.
Let’s support mom by not shaming her. That’s all I ask and I’m sure other moms are asking.
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