Gratitude

Last month kinda sucked if I do say so. Yeah, I finally closed on my condo and moved in but I was in a three car accident — the car in the middle of it all. And, that truly sucked because my car was totaled because of another driver. It was one of those accidents that I guess I could have predicted because I saw her in my rearview mirror but she was crossing over to the other lane so I thought nothing of it and looked away. Ten seconds later, she slammed into the right side of my vehicle and pushed me into another car.

Get this though — I wasn’t in motion, I was sitting in a line on the highway so just imagine her go 50-60 mph and crashing into my non-moving car. Then, she had the nerve to give me partial information and just left me and the guy she drove me into. Then, the police couldn’t do anything because as he stopped to talk to us another accident involving the median happened right in front of us and he had to take care of that. I was angry. Oh, so very angry. When people asked me if I was alright, I was like yeah, I’m just mad.

I was angry. Oh, so very angry. When people asked me if I was alright, I was like yeah, I’m just mad.

It didn’t make sense in my mind that on a Monday that was already crappy that this was the icing on the cake. Not only was it the icing on the cake but the candles were that I was going to close on Friday which meant I had to wire my chunk of money to the title agency. So yeah, I was angry. And, confused. I literally asked ‘Why me?’ because I didn’t get it. I’m the type of person that doesn’t go well when things don’t go according to plan or there’s an interruption in the plan. Obviously, this was God’s plan and not my plan so I have no say but I was still going to question it because I didn’t think it was fair.

That anger really escalated when I realized the woman didn’t give me everything I needed and when I tell you my FBI skills came to life, they came to life.

I ended up getting the rest of the information and part of me settled. Only a part because my car wasn’t my car — it was a lease that I was going to turn in, in a year. So yeah, that is why I was truly mad because I didn’t own this car and I didn’t know what was going to happen.

My anger subsided after talking to my parents(obviously), Asia, Kelsea, and Chase because they’re more rational than me in tough situations. Is it just me or do we all need someone in our lives to calm us down and let us know it’s going to work out? I’m pretty sure it’s not just me which is why I’m lucky.

And, I prayed because I’m really into praying and just talking to God.

Somehow, things have a way of working out. During this timeline of events, I had to pause at the end of each day and be grateful that I wasn’t injured or anyone else was injured. That would have been worse than a totaled car. Accidents have been added to my list of fears — just the idea of people getting close to me bothers me.

You know what’s crazy? Every person that saw my car told me how lucky I was to not have been injured because it was that bad. Just imagine my Jeep Patriot and the back smashed in on the driver side. The auto body shop employees were really surprised that I wasn’t injured and reminded me that I shouldn’t be driving my car.

For me, I was and am grateful no one got hurt. As angry as I was, I was happy to leave the scene without an injury. I might have had a headache or two the days after but I blamed it on the stress of it all. The other passengers were fine. I filed my own police report. And, my insurance handled everything so shout-out to USAA. I had my parents telling me not to worry about it and that’s always something I try to avoid. Worrying has been my thing for so long but I stop myself. Someone once told me not to worry because it’s all in the plan and from that point, I stopped. I stopped because worrying messed with my head.

And, my Erin Condren planner states, ‘you are entirely up to you’ which is pictured above. Somehow, that statement tells me that certain situations can dictate you depending on how you let them. It’s up to you to decide what is going to affect you in the best and worst ways. There’s a plan for you and you just have to take things and find a way to handle it. How you handle those situations is on you but it is telling. You can either let a situation destroy you or you can grow from it.

With this situation, I’m growing from it. Maybe I’m afraid of cars getting close to me but that’s not going to stop me from driving. I’m not going to let an accident define my life. It sucks but I have to move on.

So yeah, August might have been a bit sucky but I ended off the month with a new car so it wasn’t all that bad. Plus, I’m alive so why not be grateful?