Eliminating the Fear of Rejection

Rejection… doesn’t it suck?

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I feared rejection and how I let that fear hold me back from many opportunities.

Can you imagine living a life where you avoid hearing no? It sucks. It truly does.

That’s how I used to live my life and as I went to check my email this morning after pitching to a brand, I found myself chuckling over how silly I was and had been. I didn’t hear back from the brand but I sat there for a moment amazed by the fact that I would get worked up over a yes or no. Something that won’t necessarily impact my life but I was giving that fear a hold.

Maybe my mindset has changed after only ready two chapters of You Are A Badass but how silly of me to really fear rejection, you know?

But I know I’m not alone and I know your fear isn’t silly.

I know that rejection feels like the end of the world. You feel like you did something wrong or you missed something, you ponder over how you could have changed things. It brings up this lump of emotions because you want to understand rather than just move on and let it go.

I think we view rejection as being something terrible. The person you have feelings for doesn’t return those feelings, the job you applied for went with a different candidate, the brand you reached out to doesn’t want to work together, your friends don’t want to hang out this weekend, or something that has you down because you got a no.

No happens. It can happen a lot and that’s okay. Why sweat it when there’s a yes out there?

What’s the worst thing about rejection?

If you were to take a walk in my shoes, I was afraid of rejection from all angles of life. What if I don’t get the job? What if he doesn’t respond to my direct message? Or what if he says nothing when I asked what we are? What if this brand doesn’t want to work with me because I don’t have astronomical numbers? What if my hair doesn’t look as good as her hair?

I honestly got annoyed at myself with all the ‘what if’s’. Now, think about the people in your life that you uttered all these words to. Think about all these negative thoughts you had running through your mind and let impact your performance or mood.

Want to know the crazy part? Someone telling me no gives someone else a reason to say yes. Trying out something new helps give me perspective on if I’m going to like it or not (and if the people in my life are going to like it like a new hair-do).

My advice for you is to let it go. Let go of something that is going to affect you and your mood. Don’t let rejection get you down. There are dozens of stories out there about people who have dealt with a no or dealt with rejection in some way or form but they still made it.

Stop applying pressure to your life because it didn’t go according to plan. That’s not fun. It’s not fun to have your life planned out and go exactly how you want it to go. You need rejection. You need a no. You need to know that there is something better out there.

That person that said no to your date request wasn’t meant to be with you. If they don’t think you’re a couple even though you do couple things, let them go. There’s someone out there that is meant for you and you just have to go through a few turns to get to them.

That job that went with the other candidate probably wasn’t the best fit for you. They weren’t worth the headache and messing with your mental state. You’ll find something that works for you and you’re going to love it.

That brand doesn’t want to work with you because your numbers aren’t up there, let it go. Most of the time, brands tell you to build and come back — they never close their door on a potential influencer. Just work on your brand and reach out to other brands, there are a lot of brands out there that will take a chance with you. Work on your content and do you.

One of my favorite quotes, “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength” can apply here. Rejection can be a struggle. You could be toting along on the struggle bus but how are you going to surpass that struggle? Are you going to wallow or find another way? You have to let it go and move on to the next best thing.

Most of the time, the things we want like brand partnerships and dream jobs require more work to get there. They require more experience and more knowledge so why not work on that? Take the no, let them reject you so you can motivate yourself to get to that next level.

Instead of letting rejection affect you, let it help you…

I decided to skip out on New Year’s Resolutions because I always mess up and never complete them. That’s not fun because it’s like what is the point of coming up with the list and not even getting through it?

I have things that I intend to do this year — things that I will do and I refuse to let the fear of rejection get in the way.

Someone said no to me, it’s no big deal.

There’s going to be someone that says yes and that’s all that matters. That’s the goal.

Don’t let rejection stop my goals. Don’t let rejection impede your goals and aspirations.

Fear of rejection is so last year, so 2017.

At the end of the day, rejection is just a no. Why fear ‘no’? Something or someone better is out there and willing to say yes.

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  1. January 10, 2018 / 4:38 pm

    I’m so glad you wrote this post. I really needed to hear it. I had an interview for a scholarship yesterday that would be the opportunity of a lifetime. Came out of the interview feeling pretty bad about it. Thank you for reminding me that “no” isn’t the end of the world, and sometimes, simply means the door to something even better will open soon.

  2. January 12, 2018 / 6:27 am

    Some great tips right there! Thanks for sharing Brittnee, i have a phobia for rejection and i still cant come to terms with someone saying NO to me..

    • Brittnee
      January 15, 2018 / 10:52 pm

      Same, girl! I’m working on it and this post definitely expresses my thought train.

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