Motherhood is a lot of things especially when it comes to “myths” and what people think will happen. Truly a wild ride.
It’s a ride full of ups-and-downs where people are going to present different ideals and thoughts to you. What I mean is that you’re going to be told this and that from the day you announce your pregnancy to each year of your child’s life. There are going to be times where you realize all the s ti if you’ve heard isn’t exactly true or is far from the truth.
All of me wants to share the things that I’ve learned and realized. Many of the things that I’m going to share are things that someone else has told me or beliefs I had before experiencing pregnancy and motherhood. There are so many things to touch on that this could be a series, if I’m being real. I want to be raw and honest about my learnings and how I’m still learning.
You’re going to learn a lot about parenthood and how some of your perceptions may be off. Maybe they’re not your perceptions but other people’s experiences that they believe happen to everyone. Either way, I want to talk about it and give you some sign of relief.
Let’s dive into these myths and discuss. What’s true and what’s not true? What is your take?
Morning sickness only happens in the morning
The name does not align. It doesn’t only happen in the morning. The name should be all day sickness because it can happen whenever. You get a whiff of something that is unpleasant to your nose and that can trigger it. Nausea out of nowhere when you’re out shopping, it just attacks when it wants to. Morning sickness can happen at any time of the day! I’m a person that did not suffer in the morning — instead, I would get sick at night. Usually a Saturday night is when throwing up would hit me. I was truly confused because I took the name so literal and I had to Google to find out that it could happen whenever. Not cool.
Boobs happen (No, they don’t…)
I don’t know who told me this, but they said you get boobs when you have kids. One of those myths. I’ve always had a small chest so this was something I was looking forward to. And, you know what? I enjoyed having a nice-sized chest for 18 months until I weaned my son. It was the breastfeeding that gave me what I wanted and as soon as I wrapped that up, they went back to normal. I felt and still feel bamboozled. Now, some of you might have been blessed but I’m deflated over here and a tad bit jealous.
Breastfeeding is easy
Don’t let anyone stress you out with this opinion. It’s not fact. Add it to the list of myths. Breastfeeding is not easy and is a challenge. Some people get it and some don’t. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay. I struggled when I first started breastfeeding. Honestly, I hated when the lactation consultant would shove Cannon’s head into my chest. It just didn’t sit right with me. So, I would dread feedings when I was in the hospital and the first week at home because I thought I was suppose to shove my newborns face into my boob. Eventually, I figured it out on my own and it was rough. Rough latch = rough and dry nips at the start. Somehow, my breastfeeding journey lasted 18 months and I will say that I loved the bond I got out of it.
Natural connection is one of those myths
Some people don’t connect to their baby right away and that’s okay. I’ve seen so many mothers come out and share this and I think it’s great. There is so much pressure to dot on your child and smother them with love and not enough attention on a new mother’s mental or what she’s enduring. Some moms struggle and some moms need time to build up their connection. My advice would be to not hold it against yourself. Remember that you’ve been reborn as a mother and are adjusting. You’re allowed to give yourself grace and should never doubt the love that you have for your child. It’s there, it’s always been there, and there’s nothing wrong with the connection not happening immediately.
Sleep when the baby sleeps
Honestly, how?! People would say this all the time and I get it, we moms need our rest to. But, how do we do that when things need to be done?! Obviously, having a partner around to help is a start (and great). In my experience, Chase had to work so I never found the time to nap because I wanted to tidy up when I got the chance. I’m all about neat spaces and took the moments of sleeping baby to clean some part of the house or take a shower or go to the bathroom. There just isn’t time to sleep when baby sleeps unless you’ve lined up some help.
Sticking to a rigid schedule
If there’s one thing that doesn’t happen, it’s sticking to schedule. Honestly, who does? We all have lives and there are days where things run late or early, we fall behind, or get stuck in traffic — no schedule is perfect. As a mother and parent, we need to be flexible. Random things can come up that mess up the schedule and adjusting is key. I really don’t know any parents that have an amazing schedule that their kid follows. We used to have a schedule and COVID-19 really messed it up and now, I just go with the flow by having morning and night routines so my little dude knows when it is time to chill or wake-up. I don’t want to sway anyone from a schedule because routine is important, bedtime is important, getting some peace is important. Just don’t hold it against yourself if you get off track. It’s not a big deal and you can always bounce back.
There isn’t a balance
Okay, so I go back and forth on this. There is a balance, but you can’t plan that balance. Do you get what I’m saying? There are days where it’s not going to be 50/50, but it’ll be 80/20, 70/30, etc. Some days you’ll have to do it all and wonder when you’ll get a break, and other days you’ll have help. You can do it all and there should never be anything or anyone that tells you otherwise. If you can figure out what works for you — whether it’s working full-time and hiring help to delegate tasks for you and your partner, or finding a way to break down the load. I think you can balance it all. It’s a lot to take on, but moms are superhuman. You can’t tell me otherwise. Nine months of lending out our bodies and sacrificing so much for someone that becomes our whole world. We just have to remember to treat ourselves and take care of ourselves. Balance is different for everyone and for me, I’ve found my balance even if it changes all the time.
Honestly, I could keep going with you. There is a lot. But the one thing that I can say, is that every child is different and only you know your child and how to parent them.
Sometimes, we get lost in the sauce of social media where people highlight amazing moments or our friends tell us tales about their experiences which can then affect you. Honestly, we all have to experience it for ourselves. That’s how I see it.
This is all in good fun — total myths to me that might be true to you. I would love to hear about your experiences of parenthood and any myths you’ve heard!
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