Pictured below is a recent picture of my curls.
They have days where they want to be semi-flat and days where they want to bounce and be lively. It’s up and down but I love them. I’ve learned to love them. It’s been a battle but I’m conquering it which is why I wanted to talk about my transformation. Let me be real, I had great curls that I had acquired after getting relaxers for years and finally stopping them but not cutting out the chemically treated hair. My hair was finally at a good place — no color, barely any heat and then, I went back to my old ways of having colored hair and straightening it but still, it found a way to love me and stay bouncy. Then, I ruined them.
Let’s talk about a journey that I haven’t really talked about in the last year. Last time, I piped up about my hair, I was talking about the disaster I had encountered. I went in to get my hair a lighter brown and left with blonde hair — golden blonde hair that I did not ask for, golden blonde hair that ruined my curls and hair, golden blonde hair that I cried about because it was not what I wanted.
It was a battle.
A battle of self-love and appreciating the fact that my hair didn’t just break off. That’s how fragile it felt in my hands.
But, my battle with my hair was that I would straighten my hair three times out of the month — at the beginning of each week — then I would wear my hair curly for that one week. It worked for me and my hair never faltered. The curls stayed in tact and I was at a good point with my hair.
You know what I did wrong? I didn’t do my research on the process that I wanted for my hair and I trusted a hair stylist to just lead the way. I listened to her and let her have her way with my hair because she was a curly girl, too! I was left with damaged hair — the front of my hair wouldn’t even curl. The curls were rough and dry. My hair had high porosity and need moisture at all times. It was terrible.
The wrong move, B. I was left with what you can see pictured below. Like I stated, I had super loose curls in some parts of my hair and strands that just went straight and didn’t curl.
Honestly, it hurt my soul. I was crushed.
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How did I overcome it and transition/transform back to my natural state? I’ve been asked that a few times and I want to share. If I can help someone else out along the way, I’m all for it. Here are my tips that I lived by over the past year.
Get your trim on
Don’t get me wrong, I hate when it comes time to take the shears to my hair. I’m not a fan of cutting my hair because I had short hair growing up and I always wanted long hair and that didn’t happen until the 4th grade. But, you have to trim away the bad so the good can prosper. Don’t let those damaged ends hang on, stop giving them life. You need to get the trim and know that at the end of the day, it will be worth it.
By trimming your hair, you are allowing yourself to remove the ends that will cause further damage. I’ve noticed that when I skip my trims, my ends get frizzy and they knot up. You don’t want this to happen. Those knots have to be cut out so why not trim to avoid them? Don’t be afraid of the shears — in fact, I’ve found love for my trimming scissors. Make sure you are taking hair shears to your hair because they are sharp enough to trim your ends to perfection. Regular scissors will not get the job done the right way.
Like they always say, don’t hold on to old baggage. Free yourself from it. Let your hair thrive.
Trim it away, trim it away!
Deep condition and your hair will love you
Listen, ya girl just really got hip to deep conditioning. I used to do protein treatments but I never deep conditioned and I’m hating myself for it. Do you know what greatness this does to your hair? I really didn’t love my curls since I was depriving them of something so beneficial. What are the benefits of deep conditioning? Well for starters, your hair comes back to life. You are improving your hair by taking this step — elasticity, moisture, etc. The overall health of your hair is improved by deep conditioning. And the best way to penetrate the hair, heat. Not a straightening but either steam from your shower or using a steamer.
Case in point: those curls you see pictured above are deep conditioned. By deep conditioning your hair, you are giving it nourishment and a spa day. The weekends are the perfect time to apply your product of choice (Currently, I’m using Shea Moisture products — Frizz-Free and Renewal deep conditioners) and you sit back and relax for 15-30 minutes depending on how patient you are. My curls are soft and moisturized after I deep condition. When my ends start to act out, I know a deep condition might help me figure out a solution — either they need moisture or a trim.
Also, your hair does not need to be damaged for you to deep condition. It can be healthy and still need extra loving.
Limit the heat you’re applying
This was a hard one for me — I used to straighten my hair three times a month, once a week so that I could wear my hair straight to work, happy hour, and other events. My curls were still intact after I applied heat each week so I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t see any damage. The damage didn’t come until the bad dye job and all the research I uncovered. To be honest, I stopped straightening my hair because I thought it would break off in chunks if I applied any heat. I didn’t stop because I was doing a no heat challenge or anything like that. It was almost like the last straw, a need-to-stop basis.
It wasn’t hard to stop straightening my hair — I was frightened of the consequences and I felt defeated. Plus, the elasticity of my hair really let me know that there was no chance to rock my straight hair for awhile. I stopped applying heat because I had no choice. But, I have a choice now and I still don’t straighten my hair unless it’s something important that I know might frizz up my curls. Stop straightening your hair all the time, let it breathe in its natural state. Ignore society’s ideals that straight hair is pretty hair because their standards are wrong. Pretty hair is whatever you dictate as pretty hair. Leave the heat be and let the curls free.
Leave the heat be and let the curls/natural hair free.
Patience and love
This is the hard part. Being patient and waiting for your hair to grow sucks because it can take forever. There are no miracles to speeding up hair growth. I’ve never tried a hair gummy so I have no take on that. I feel like my hair started growing faster when I started drinking lots of water and eating well. My body responded to me taking care of myself and loving myself.
At the end of the day, you just have to find some patience. It’s not going to happen overnight. Someone else’s story is not your story. Create your story. Do what you think will accelerate your hair growth whether it’s limiting heat, getting a protective style, using the right products, etc. Everyone’s hair journey is different. Everyone’s hair pattern is different. You have to take what you have and make do with it. Just learn to love your hair. That was always my hardest battle and it still is at times. I think I’m prettier with straight hair and it does affect me at a time. I think you should reassure yourself and always make sure you are comfortable with your decision. Love yourself.
The transition is going to be hard at first but you’ll be grateful for the results. I can list you different people and tell you all about the products but you have to put in the work. You have to want this for yourself and your hair. Become a product junkie, if you must but once you find products that work you will be good. It took me months of using different Shea Moisture products before finding the correct ones.
With DevaCurl, I just had a successful run when I bought the travel pack to try out. If you haven’t tried DevaCurl, I would suggest buying the travel pack to see if you link it followed by buying the bundle. Cantu was my go-to when I started out and I took a break from it but I’m back at it again with that product along with my Denman brush which helps me comb/brush out my hair in the shower and avoid tangles. This is a necessity.
The products you end up with aren’t going to bring back your natural state alone, your hard work has to be applied. You have to find ways to get through it and love yourself. Your hair is beautiful. Just remind yourself that and believe people when they tell you that they love your hair because they mean it.
People I admire and look up to on this journey: Siggi Bennett — go peep her Instagram and Snapchat, Jade Kendle, Chellis Curls, Britney Watkins, and so many more! Ask and I can provide accounts and more people.
What are your transition tips? How did you handle your transition?
My next step is to get a DevaCut. I’ll share the details when that happens.
I love all the deep conditioning options! I’m really trying to embrace my natural curls and limit heat time too but it’s so hard!
Totally understand! It’s so hard to cut out heat especially when you want to do certain things or want to look a certain way. I had to hide my heat tools at my parents’ house for a few months to get by haha.
All good tips. Very useful.
Rhonda Chavez says
Great great tips! I have straight hair but my daughter has curly so this helps a lot
I LOVE your curly hair. Isn’t it crazy how attached we can get to it. I had long hair my whole life after a terrible stint with short hair when I was a kid. Last year I chopped it all off and now I love it. But it took a long while to be comfortable with it. I’m glad you found products that enhance your style and keep your locks healthy 🙂
Thank you!! It’s so crazy. I didn’t realize it until that hair accident. I love short hair, I don’t think I could pull it off but I’m obsessed with The Cut Life and looking at how gorgeous everyone looks.
Lynn Woods says
I’ve used the Cantu Shea Butter and it’s great. Leaves my hair so soft!
That’s my favorite thing about it! And, it smells so good. I love anything that makes my hair smell good.
I used these methods on my hair, my hair is straight as an arrow. I trim my hair quite often to help it grow. I do not use any heat tools to my hair at all I have seen the effects on my hair when I did use it quite a bit. Another thing that I found helpful is to not shampoo my hair a lot.
I had to stop using shampoo, too. It would loosen my hair and make it straight. I found that switching to a sulfate-free and no parabens helped out a little.
Lyndsey Camille says
Great tips! I love Shea Moisture and Cantu products for my coily hair 🙂
They’re such great products! And, they smell so good which is a plus!
I am always in need of hair care help and advice! Mine is so frizzy and just a pain to manage…especially in hot humid weather! Thanks for the tips!
I’m glad I could help! Shea Moisture has great Frizz-Free products and I use one weekly to calm down my frizz. It works pretty well.
Omg! Your curls looks so good! I’ve only been natural for a year. These were great tips and reminders to get healthy, flourishing curls