One would think the newborn stage is easy — the baby eats, sleeps, and poops. But, that’s so far from the truth. So many new mommas are so excited for baby just to be here that they don’t prepare. I’m one of those mommas. I’m a first-time mom that fit excited once she hit 25 weeks and never looked back.
But, I wish I had looked forward and reached out to other moms.
Why? Because it’s hard. It is truly hard to do anything when you have a newborn. As annoying as people were about getting sleep while you still can, they were right for the most part. Yeah, I was in tons of mom groups, but everyone talks about the positive in those groups unless they need answers. There is no downside to the baby in mom groups, and I wish there were.
Of course, this is a blessing. Cannon is a blessing. I understand that there are many women out there struggling to have children or can’t have children and would trade places in a day. I truly feel for those women, and I wouldn’t pass this Mom life up for anything. But, a girl needs to complain and wallow from time to time about her kid.
Mom life isn’t perfection. It doesn’t matter what side bloggers and vloggers present to you, things are not perfect. They’re far from it.
There’s a lot of crying
Your baby is going to cry a lot. That’s the only way they can communicate. And if you’re like me, you’re going to rush to hush them up. Cannon cried so much at first because of his tongue-tie and being hungry. From there, we dealt with crying from a wet diaper to hunger to gas pains. This is how the baby is letting you know what’s going on and sometimes, they don’t stop. My little guy has taught me that I’m going to find the cause and figure out an effect in a speedy manner. I hate when he cries, it hurts my soul.
I remember one day I was so frustrated while trying to change his diaper with Chase because he cried any time we wanted to change him. It was so frustrating to me mainly because I wanted to change him fast enough to stop the crying. Luckily, we figured out that we probably shouldn’t stay in the basement as it’s freezing and that was perhaps the source of our problems. But like I said, there is so much crying, and you might need to take many moments. You might need to even cry, at some point and that’s okay. Cry it out if you need to. For me, I take my moments when I get to shower and relax for those 5-10 minutes.
You’re living on no sleep
We got no sleep the first week. I remember trying to fall asleep and being awoken by Cannon who had been sleeping. The only time sleep happened was when we had family visit the hospital or when Cannon had to be taken to the nursery. No sleep. When we arrived home, we were able to sneak in a few naps here and there, but it’s hard. Chase went back to work which meant it was mostly on me. Thankfully, my parents like 10 minutes away and took many trips to hold the baby while I relaxed.
But, I try to not rely on them too much as they have their own life. I’ve learned to get sleep during Cannon’s afternoon naps. It indeed is hard to get in a good number of hours. People can talk and talk about a schedule, but that’s hard to get together, too. My advice would be not to sweat getting a schedule together. No one has it together. I don’t care what they say. And, take help when you are offered it.
Your body is healing
Why do we expect to do it all right after birth?! It’s like we forget the trauma but our bodies are healing. Whether you got a tear or an episiotomy, your lady bits are feeling the pain. I mean after birth, we’re wearing medical undies with ice packs and tucks. There are possibly hemorrhoids and just so much going on down there. Expect the bleeding to not go away for weeks — it’s like the never-ending period, to be honest.
By the time we go home, it’s only been two days for some of us. The pain is real. A lot is going on down there like stitches and getting back to normal. Like you’re in the bathroom for ten minutes because you have to fill the perineal bottle and pat yourself dry then apply all the necessities to feel good. It sucks and don’t forget to stock up on ibuprofen. I was taking the three a day that the hospital was giving me because it’s excruciating down there. You’re not going to go back to normal right away, let’s just put it that way. I’m still in pain, and I’m five weeks PP. My final advice — postpartum kit. Make it and use it. The hospital should put one together for you if you have a great nurse as I did.
You have no time
Time is a joke. There is none. You can’t escape and do much when you’re going through this stage. If you’re breastfeeding, you’re on call for when that mouth is screaming and crying from hunger. It’s not all pretty. Motherhood is being honest and letting the next person know these things. You have no time, and it’s always with that baby while you are off. Not that I mind, but it’s as real as I can get about this.
Small appointments are about all that you get unless you have someone watch that baby for a bit. I’m lucky enough to have a significant other that likes taking his naps with the baby and doing whatever to calm the baby when I need someone to take him. And, my family is down the street. Find time to make time, though. I find time for my blog posts by typing them in my notes on my phone as I’m feeding or rocking Cannon. Whether it’s during your little one’s nap or when someone offers to babysit. You need your sanity, mama.
Keep it together, mama
I could go on and on, but I just wanted to share a tidbit into my new mom journey. I’m sure seasoned moms know all about this, but as a new mom, I was fixated on the cute clothes and cute baby face. Just don’t expect rainbows and a great time. It’s a lot of work, work that is worth it but a lot.
And, don’t feel like you have to be perfect. You’ll be tested, and you’ll need to pull through. With my little one, gas pains have been our battle. It’s the worst battle yet, and we’re only a month in. Lean on your support system and talk to people that get it.
Don’t worry new momma or trying mommas; it’s not terrible. I know this post is a bit dreary, but I think it’s a topic that should be touched on. Along with postpartum and all things that need and should be discussed. I share more about that along the way (and when I finally get time).
What are some things you wish someone had told you about the newborn stage? What has your new mom experience been like?